Communicating effectively involves paying attention to details. I was at a meeting recently that got quite heated, with three voices in particular standing out: PERSON 1: They should do XYZ. PERSON 2: They must do XYZ. PERSON 3: They want to do XYZ. Should = Morals [Often means doing the right thing – the maximum] Must = Obligation [Often means doing what is legally required – the minimum] Want = Desire [Often means doing what
We learn a lot about how people are thinking by paying attention to the details of the language being used – particularly in turbulent times. An obvious example is with sports fans. “WE won at the weekend!” as opposed to “THEY lost at the weekend.” Using ‘We’ indicates collaboration, and taking collective responsibility. Using ‘They’ is a sign of division, and apportioning blame. This isn’t only relevant to your favourite sports team. How do we
In his book, ‘The Element‘, Ken Robinson points out that asking “How intelligent are you?” is the wrong question. It implies that intelligence is easily defined, and somehow quantifiable. But a growing range of research – and perhaps our common sense – tells us this is not the case. IQ is one measure of intelligence – yet we are all familiar with the brainiac who struggles in social situations, or the talented artist who is
Not long ago, a client called me out on a casually sexist remark I made, the gist of which was ‘yoga is for girls’. It was an odd thing to say, because it’s not what I think. Firstly, having practiced on and off since 2005, I certainly don’t believe ‘yoga is for girls’. Neither do I consider myself sexist – and yet my words undoubtedly were. It would be easy to dismiss this off-hand –
Sometimes, only our best is good enough … but the idea we can [or should] always be at our best is not only impossible, it’s unhealthy. We’re humans. We have good days and bad days. Sometimes we’re on top form … and at other times – not so much. Now, if we’re having a stinker, that doesn’t mean we inflict our bad day on everyone around us, but pretending we’re always at our best is
First Gig “Summer lovin’ had me a blast …” I sat there, palms sweaty, clutching my pristine new sticks. “Summer lovin’ happened so fast …” I sat there, almost wishing I was somewhere – anywhere – else. [Almost]. My first gig as a drummer was an abridged version of ‘Grease’ somewhere in Winchester. I’m 15, and have only been playing for a few weeks. “Well-ah well-ah well-ah HUH!” And with that ‘Huh!’, I’m off on
For a time, I was Stage Door Keeper at Her Majesty’s Theatre on the Haymarket in London. [Where you could still go and watch ‘Phantom of the Opera’ tonight if you wanted!] It’s one of those jobs where you get to know everyone, and hear everything … I was there during a cast change. Contracts were usually 12 months, so every year a couple of the roles would go to new people. Auditions had been
Originating with the Iroquois, Seventh Generation Thinking is the idea that when we make a decision, we give thought to how it affects the seventh generation from now – roughly 150 years or so. It helps us avoid the potential traps in short-term thinking. 150 years is a long time, and feels a bit vague – but I know quite a lot about my Great-Great-Grandfather, Thomas. I live in the same town as he did.
Back to 1995, and I’m selling business telephone systems. [Spoiler alert – it didn’t last long.] Our sales trainer was a larger-than-life North Londoner. The sort of guy for whom selling was a competition, with winners and losers. “And I hate losers.” The first part of the sales process was getting past whoever answered the phone, and through to the right person. One of the key techniques was to be confident – to sound like
At 12, I started working as a kitchen porter at a local hotel. [Yep, 12. It was run by my best friend’s mum and dad, and they were big fans of illegal child labour!] First day – I absolutely hated it. I was doing cutlery, and can vividly remember how utterly bored I was. But I worked in that kitchen every year until I left school at 18. [I eventually moved on from cutlery. The
Weekly [digital] email to help navigate the [analogue] world …
Weekly [digital] email to help navigate the [analogue] world …
